BLESSED CHRISTMAS

Jesus is the best present of all. He also gave us Himself as a gift for our salvation.

Often, I would casual remark that "Jesus loves you" and "God Bless", but today, if we (I) would just stop and realise how much God really does love us (me)... and how much His only Son, Jesus was willing to give Himself up on the cross for our (my) salvation, we would be amazed!

"Thank You Father, for Your gift on Christmas. Your Son to become a man, to live, to die and rise again! Your love still amazes me!"

p.s. I'm engaged and will be getting married !! :) Whooppeeeee... Praise the Lord!

What to do....

Have you ever had one of those days, where you know there's so much to do but it feels like there's nothing to do? That how I'm feeling this whole week. It is like my brain had gone on a standby, at least from certain task, and needs some rebooting.

We'll I guess, I'm just used to being so task oriented that I forget to chill and relax. On another thought... how can we know we're so tasked oriented?

When we call friends to 'hang out' but only to have a meeting. (Is that true?)

Anyway, take care everyone!! Have a Blessed Christmas!

In Him,
Stephen

Picutres....

I'm trying to do something here.... :) Not very good with this kinda stuff.

IT IS HARDER THAN I THOUGHT...

...yet, I will praise You. Nothing is ever impossible for You... I am (we are) always within Your reach. I love You, Jesus and Thank You!

Romans 8:37-39 (NLT)

37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Proverbs 3:5,6

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
6 Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.

The Father's Letter

Major on the majors

I'm now at Bogor for a Sports Ministry Conference and Mission to encourage some of our missionaries here. They place where I'm staying is pretty good and the Satay Kambing is delicious!!

Lately, I've been challenged to stop thinking needlessly...meaning, spending too much time thinking on things that does not matter too much. Yup. I realized (with the help of many friends) that I often make small matters too BIG. A pastor once said that we should "Major on the majors and minor on the minors". Now that's a good statement that I have to put into practice.

What is God doing in my life?? LOADS!

I'm going through a major transition and I'm very excited.

Wooo hoooooo.........

BELIEVE, RECEIVE & LIVE!

Taken from this morning's Bible Reading, Psalms 50:5-9

5 “Bring my faithful people to me—

those who made a covenant with me by giving sacrifices.”
6 Then let the heavens proclaim his justice,
for God himself will be the judge. Interlude

7 “O my people, listen as I speak.
Here are my charges against you, O Israel:
I am God, your God!
8 I have no complaint about your sacrifices
or the burnt offerings you constantly offer.
9 But I do not need the bulls from your barns
or the goats from your pens.

God's perfect moral nature demands that the penalty for sin be death; however, people could offer an animal to God as a substitute for their own lives, symbolizing their faith in the merciful and forgiving God. But people were offering sacrifices and forgetting their significance.! The very act of sacrifices showed that they had once agreed to follow God wholeheartedly. But at this time their hearts were not in it. We may fall into the same pattern when we participate in religious activities, tithe, or attend church out of habit or conformity rather than out of heartfelt love and obedience. God wants righteousness, not empty ritual.

This, of course does not mean we ought to stop worshipping God and having a relationship with Him. Rather we ought to go back into our 'closet' and seek deep within ourselves (with the help fo the Holy Spirit) our motives and purpose in our offering. What God has done for us is too amazing and awesome to not WORSHIP and ADORE Him.

When I read this passage today, I just halted my spiritual journey momentarily... to re-evaluate my 'offerings and sacrifice'. I know for certain that Jesus is the ultimate sacrifice and therefore do not need to offer any more sacrifice for my short comings... but my response is to continue in the relationship wholeheartedly to God through Jesus Christ. God no longer demands for my sacrifice... He is satisfied by the One and Only Son who have given it all for my (and everyone) salvation and redemption.

My only respond is to believe, receive and live!

Are You Amazed?

I am AMAZED....

ON A ROAD TRIP WITH 20 SOMETHINGS

Tomorrow's public holiday for Brunei and so, 20 something (that's the care group I attend) will be heading for a short holiday tomorrow, 2nd October til Saturday, 4th October. I'm looking forward to just being with the guys and relax.

As for today, I've managed to accomplish a lot of task. I'm feeling proud of myself *pat pat* for being able to finish most of my task (at least for this week) before the weekend starts. It's a challenge for me to finish work on time and ticking off "to do's". I'm just blessed and I'm thankful that I can enjoy my week with my CG! Woohooo....

Lately, my life has been really interesting but I think I'll have to restrain myself from sharing my thoughts and happenings in the recent weeks... well... at least at this moment.

"Thank you Jesus for guiding me, my family and friends.... may Your love be in us as You are living in us through your Holy Spirit. Amen."

"A picture taken at our recent youth camp - God Encounters"

Seated here in my office where I am king. Well, at least for the very brief moment....

The past month had been a fantastic experience. Though I was very busy, it was a good feeling... and one of its highlight was celebrating my birthday with very special friends and of course my sweetheart. It's 28.... that's a great number.

People often fear growing up and aging. I understand theat fear... but I read a book that changed my perspective of growing up. I now look forward to becoming more matured... being a man! Becoming a man is one of my deepest aspirations, that shapes my very thought and focus.

Other highlights were the travelling I've done in the month which ended with my week in Singapore with Lorene, Timothy, Aunty Betty and Pastor Johnny. I actually ate durian... a fruit I disliked very much. But after tasting it, it wasn't too bad... I think I'd give it a go!! I'm slowly being converted... hahaha

Crossroads... well I went to a bridal show!! And I (we) had a good time.

Back from Singapore

It was a tired week at Singapore. However, I watched Wall.E when I got back. It's really good. I had a really great time laughing and just enjoying the movie. It's cute and very simple. Everyone must watch it!

"You must watch it!"

MY BIRTHDAY! ....Thank you...

It was spectacular.... I don't have the pictures yet, but I hope to get it and post it up here!

It was simple but the surprise was great. :)

I happened to have lunch on the 1st August, which was a Friday. Lorene and I went to Fun Wok in Kiulap. I actually asked if we could go to a vegetarian restaurant just around the corner but she convinced me otherwise.

So there we were having lunch and talking. She acted it out so well... and should have received a Grammy Award for just acting normal and not get all excited with the surprise that was just about to happen. I finished my meal and was just telling her that we should go for a walk but she continued to act so normally and changed the topic. I didn't realise anything until the cake! A bunch of the guys just appeared out of nowhere and placed a cake right in front of me singing the classic "Happy Birthday" song with all the other customers just staring at us. But wow! I am so blessed!

I wanna say more... but I'm lost for words! I love you guys... and most of all... I love YOU! :)

Thank you!

Running away from the past doesn't mean overcoming it. There's a saying, "the past will always come to hunt you." I honestly believe this phrase. The past does come to hunt us, and for some... even on a daily basis. when I say 'past' I meant the experiences and memories that we dread and are regretful about.

My past have been hunting me almost on a daily basis. Some days are worse, and other days mild. Nonetheless, it comes and when it does, it takes no prisoners. The past somehow open up wounds that I thought were closed... feelings and emotions I prayed we're taken away. However, it isn't so. These emotional, mental and spiritual wounds are real and they hurt. Each wound had been randomly caused, but the enemy (Satan) had used them strategically as a weapon to keep my spirit weak and my morale at a constant low.

The healing.... I must want it! I need a doctor!

God, as the Good Physician would then take me into His 'clinic'. Ask me a few questions to determine the symtoms and causes. I would sometime have to remember the past, open up old wounds... to just be in the healing process. There is no quick fix... but a long process of healing. It is a process and from time to time the area of the wound would be pricked and probed by God... not to hurt me, rather to check for signs of healing. It takes time, but I must not want a quick fix, just the long and painful process of my wounds healing that were once inflicted by the past... and God would remind me over and over again.....

"It's ok, I'm here and I'm gonna take care of you. Turst me. Lay back... I'll be gentle. So, tell me what's wrong? Where is the pain? Have you been taking any other medication? Who gave this medicine to you? It's ok... don't resist... I only want the best for you. This may hurt you, but it is necessary that I give you the Cure. We will need to visit your past from time to time, open the wound and start cleaning up the areas that are dead so that new 'cells' (life) can grow again. The wound will take time to heal properly, so we must make sure you have the regular check up. Don't worry, once we are over this wound... you'll be good as new. The scars would be there as a reminded... but remember Me... I'll take care of you... "

No title whatsoever. The past weeks had been very interesting. A time of discovering and evaluating. It took me away into isolation, being saparated from those I want to be with the most. Yet, I know it was important to allow the Holy Spirit to draw me in His presence.

I had been discovering more of myself... allowing the Holy Spirit to remind me of my goals, purpose and vision. Now, I know He is restoring my dreams... giving me new hope, teaching me, molding me.... guiding me.

I am ever so thankful for all you patient friends. Without the grace and support, it would have been harder.

God... thank you!

UPDATES

Coming soon!!!

WORDS

Lately, I've been stumbling over my words. Though it was never meant for evil or to hurt anyone, too often it does. Why? Would it be my lack of tack or the tone of voice? Is it the facial expression or does it come froth as an insult? What is it?

Nonetheless, words are not to be taken lightly... once it is said, you can't take it back. A joke said wrongly, a remark made sarcastically, an honest opinion said without thinking of the hearer's emotion... once said, it can't be taken back.

Call it being sensitive, but no one wants to feel as a lesser human.... I'm really sorry for hurting you with my words. It doesn't make me feel any better for saying what I did. I'm sorry....

Proverbs 18:21

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

Proverbs 16:24

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

SELFISH

Such selfishness!.... *provoking*

I realise that this current post seems rather negative, however, this are clear observations and I'd admit the truth is a fact.... YOU'RE (we're) SELFISH!

Selfish.... self-centred.... just being bitter and soaking in self pity... only wanting what you want or at least to wanting to make your opinions heard without thinking of the cosequences. I'm not innocent of such as these and I still don't have to be selfish. It's a daily decision...

• Are you feeling determine to get what you want, realizing the only person benefiting from it is YOU?
• Are you feeling sorry for yourself, thinking that you're the only person hurting and wanting evenryone else to know how you're feeling bad about it?
• Are you being bitter about the people, assuming that they're better off without you or you without them? (maybe it is true that they can do it with you, but definitely not better without)
• Are you holding on to the pain, having a 'pity party' and became addicted to it?
• Are you hanging around bitter, self-centred, critical people cos they share the same views?
• Are you feeling resentful when you read this?
  
• There's more...??
  

... Selfish!

Ephesians 4:29-32

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths (including writen), but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along withevery form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

WHATEVER LAH!

Whatever lah....

Improvements... small baby steps.

Half the year is almost gone and already I've learnt and discovered so much about myself and others. It is said that personal experience accounts for most of our learnings and discoveries, I truly agree.

Something I've improved in:
In recent years, a lot of my personal relationships hadn't been very good. I've come along to be overbearing, preachy and pushy (still am). Many of which came because of my personal lifestyle and work habits. It had always been about performance and ensuring that I was doing ALL it takes to accomplish the goals (whether realistic or not) set before me.

But I've learn some of my short comings through some very courageous, good-willed friends. Though I wouldn't agree with all that was said of me (cause that would mean I didn't consider carefully of the criticism), it was enough to keep me in check.

So, how have I improved? We'll, it is still a process. I've now seen some obvious changes in my attitude. The consequences are that some relationships are being mended and I'm thankful for even a small improvement. It is still an improvement!

Something I need to work on continuously:
I'm generally not good with planning ahead of time. I could barely sit down and focus on the details of my work and ministry. So I must train, equip and plan better... it takes time but I'll get there somehow!

"... I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

GRACE. Unexpected. Undeserved... its a GIFT

I read the book The Ragamuffin Gospel and found the joy of understanding the grace of God. Grace has become 'cheap', and taken without a consideration of the GIFT it is for US. I recommend YOU to pick this book up at a christian bookstore or online and once again be refreshed and transformed by the grace we so long needed to encounter.

Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when we walk through the dark valley of meaningless and empty life... It strikes us when year after year, the longed-for perfection does not appear, when the old compulsions reign within us as they have for decades. When despair destroys all joy and courage. sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into our darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying: 'You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by that which is greater than you, and the name of which you do not know. do not ask for the name now: perhaps you will find it later. Do not try to do anything now: perhaps later you will do much. Do not seek for anything. Simply accept the fact that your are accepted.' If that happens to us, we experience grace

[Paul Tillich. Taken from the book, The Ragamuffin Gospel]

... Never confuse your perception of yourself with the mystery that you really are accepted.

RECOMMENDED BOOK - THE RAGAMUFFIN GOSPEL

The Ragamuffin Gospel Visual Edition

Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out
Written by Brennan Manning
Illustrated by Charles Brock

Religion - Christian Life | Multnomah Books | Trade Paperback | September 2005 | $14.99 | 978-1-59052-512-8 (1-59052-512-4)

ABOUT THIS BOOK

Too Graphic for Words Would you rather watch a movie than read? Do magazines and the Internet draw you in because there’s so much catching your eye? Then you’ll love The Ragamuffin Gospel, Visual Edition. Brennan Manning’s original bestselling message comes to life through the provocative photographs, illustrations, and other attractive images throughout the book. Easy to flip through, toss in a backpack, and share with others, this book helps you experience on a whole new level the tremendous, life-changing truth that God loves you, no matter what you do or do not do. His grace is too great to be summed up in words, best understood when experienced. Respond now to the Father’s furious love…it’s hot on your trail!

God’s Grace—

Too Graphic for Words

Story Behind the Book

Brennan Manning’s bestselling The Ragamuffin Gospel found a home in the hearts of thousands of “ragamuffins”—God’s precious flock of believers who were bedraggled, beat-up, and burnt-out. But the message of God’s powerful love and grace, constant no matter what you do or do not do, is for everyone! To convey the reality of this life-changing message in an entirely new way, the visual edition was created. Audiences with shorter attention spans, youth, and image-driven people everywhere will engage in the attractive display of this simple message.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Brennan Manning

Brennan Manning is a Korean War veteran and former Franciscan priest who lives in New Orleans , Louisiana . A native of Brooklyn , Manning earned degrees in philosophy from St. Francis College and in theology from St. Francis Seminary. His other books include The Signature of Jesus and Abba’s Child. Still traveling widely, Manning continues to write and preach, encouraging men and women everywhere to accept and embrace the good news of God’s unconditional love in Jesus Christ.

About the Artist
Charles Brock

Charles Brock is a graphic designer and senior art director for The Designworks Group in Sisters, Oregon. His love for books propelled him into book cover design eight years ago following his graduation from Oklahoma State University, and his works have since been featured in Communication Arts. He enjoys spending his spare time with his wife, Kimberly, and pursuing his interests in photography.

ISLS 2006

Sunday Lunch with the family!

Volley in the mid-day

Football Coaching at a jail for children and teens.

Basketball Coaching at a local school!

Here's a few pictures from my South Africa adventure. These are some of my 'brothers and sisters' that has really impacted my life.

I miss you!

RAY VANDER LAAN - RUN

Jaeson Ma's Testimony

I thought this would stir some hearts. Its all for the Father's glory.

We are all unable to attain the grace of God by ourselves if it weren't already given with the price of another's life on the cross.

Jaeson Ma's Testimony

Jaeson Ma
"... I just keep on going and saying 'God,' Hebrews 11:6 say that you're a rewarded of those who diligently seek you'... and I said 'God, I'm gonna seek you until I find you until I get you until I capture your presence in your heart in my life', and I did and I was 19 years old."

"If you wanna have passion for Jesus, you have to study his passion for you... how much he loves you. How much He suffered and He died for you. Because 1st John 4 says 'we love Him because He first loved us.."

OPRAH.... DENYING CHRIST...??

When I watched this, I was really disturbed by how many people are now being misled to believe in her new age teaching and support for such demonic religion. Though many are now being led to believe that there is no God... I pray that the Lord will convict your hearts and mine to keep guard our faith and not to be drawn by such doctrines (teachings).

2Corinthians 10:3-5
"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretense that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

2 Corinthians 11:3
"... But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your mind may somehow be led stray from your pure devotion to Christ."

PSALMS 145

CHINESE...?

What makes Chinese-CHINESE?

Please check the list to see how Chinese you or your friends really are:

There are 29 ways to know if you're Chinese. You will laugh at yourself when you read all of them.

1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping
(and especially those ribbons).

2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has move out.

3. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.

4. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. You use the grocery bags to hold garbage.

5. You hate to waste food:

(a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. (Your mom will give a lecture about starving kids in Africa ).
(b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.

6. You don't own any real Tupperware- only a cupboard full of used but
carefully rinsed margarine tubs, take out containers, and jam jars.

7. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every
time you stay in a hotel.

8. You wipe your plate and utensils or wash them in a small basin of hot
water before you eat every time you go to a restaurant.

9 . You own a rice cooker and a slow cooker

10. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.

11. You fight (literally) over who pays the dinner bill.

12. You have a teacup with a cover on it.

13. If you're under age 20, you own a really expensive walkman if you're
over 20, you own a really expensive camera.

14. You're a wok user.

15. You only make long distance calls after 7pm.

16. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached-it,
means they're fresh.

17. You never call your parents just to say, ' Hi. '

18. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they'll ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

19. Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay indoors when you get
sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked foods because
such food are ' heaty' (yeet hey in Cantonese).

20. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only sit 10 feet apart.

21. You always cook too much.

22. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last
piece of food on the table.

23. You starve yourself before going to ' All You Can Eat ' buffet.

24. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or
electronics, computers.

25 . You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.

26. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.

27. You call a sausage a hotdog.

28. You wrap with napkins all the knives, spoons and forks of the airline that you fly on and put in your travel-bag as souvenirs

29. You never forget to take with you all the unused bath and facial tissues when you check out from the hotel because you believe that you have paid its all.

BIGGER DREAMS

"There is really only one thing standing between you and everything you can be - and that's your dream. Never be afraid to dream too big. Enlarge yourself by growing your vision."

I pray that our vision be Christ Jesus. The size of our dream is directly propotional to how we preceive our God. And... HE IS AWESOME!

DARE TO DREAM BIG!

"GIVE OTHERS A CHANCE..."

Its quite a challenge when we need to consider the things that are important in our lives. Lately, I find it more challenging since I've taken the role of a youth worker in my church. The transitions are not as smooth as I wanted it to be but, this is a tough world and somehow I just need to adapt.

One of the hardest thing to adapt to is the fact that people tend to forget that you're a person and focus on the "job" - meaning that we are related to based on the job we do, like the sick going to a doctor. I know I'm guilty of doing this to others as well. However, the pressure is consistent and just being a youth worker seems to make people feel either they're not worthy or I'm not worthy to be a person and a friend. This may not be true, but this is just how I feel about it.

As a youth worker or pastor, I'm expected to be on my toes at most times. I should know what's happening and like a magician that would pull rabbits out of a hat, I must have plans for everything I do. It may not be perfect but I do try.

A really good friend of mine prayed this, "Jesus, help Stephen to be a leader that we need him to be."

I think it was a very profound and powerful prayer, but it also tells me that there are certain expectations I've yet to understand and grow into. I wouldn't try to fulfil these expectation, rather I'd learn to grow into them. I praise the Lord for the friends that are constantly supporting me. There are times, however, I feel completely lost. Obviously, everyone's been here. It does hurt sometimes when people put a label on me... then again, I must accept it and work toward improving myself. I can't change what people think about me, but I can change my attitude and be thankful.

In the midst of loneliness, I've wanted to feel pity for myself. I realise how selfish I would be because I hadn't given a chance to others to encourage and build me. I know I do have friends. I love them. Though they may not completely understand what I'm going through.... they are still here! And I love them for being who they are!

Someone said this once, "Give others a chance to encourage and compliment you."

"I need to put a new picture here... of my friends of course"

ENCOURAGEMENT... it goes a long way!

"It goes a long way.... It really does!"

Without your encouragements life would have been tougher and I'd give up! You were my pillar to lean on and the shoulder to cry on when ever I needed it. I love you...

Mummy & Daddy, Che-Ming & Dex, Che-Ching & Yoyo, Raymond, Gaby, Lorene, Chester, Ben, Terence, Matt and Pete, Stephen O, Uncle Andy, Clyde & Chel, Christina.... I'd like to name everyone!! Thank you for givin up so much... I thank the Lord for each of you.

Your encouragement... it goes along way!

Oh Kaylitsha!

I haven't shared much about my experiences in South Africa when I was there. Here's just a short video of when I was at Kaylitsha - a 1.5 million predominantly black "xosa" community. Watch this girl dance to the music... Oh Kaylitsha!

Healing Always Comes - Devotional by Canaanland

Healing Always comes

"And these signs shall follow them that believe… they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover”
Mark 16:17-18

I Used to get upset over people I’d lay hands who wouldn’t get well. I was praying one day and seeking God about it when He spoke to my spirit and said, “Healing always comes”.
I remember I said, “What do you mean. Healing always comes? Not everybody gets healed”.
I didn’t say they all received it,” He answered. Then He spoke very sternly to me. “I do My part. And I said they would recover!”

Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. He said they would recover. He never lies. So if He said they would recover, then that means healing always comes. It’s not God who’s holding back. It’s the receivers who aren’t receiving.

Since then, I’ve never had any trouble laying hands on people and believing for them to be healed. Whether they walk away well or not, I just keep standing in faith for them. In fact, I know if that fellow who went away still sick ever lines his faith up with God and me-I don’t care if it’s five years from now-he’ll be healed.

If you’ve laid hands on someone who didn’t receive his healing, don’t cut off the flow of God’s power by withdrawing your faith. Stand fast. Keep believing that “healing always comes” and somewhere down the line that poor sick fellow may just decide to stand up and agree with you!.

Scripture Reading: Mark 10:46-52

Adapted from Faith to Faith A Daily Guide to Victory
by Kenneth and Gloria Copeland

Betrayal...

"Ben"(pronounced as 'Burn'), my sister called. "Why do you even bother calling them friends?"

I was caught in a moment of hurt and anguish. The pain was worse than one caused to the flesh. It cuts deeper, wounding me. My eyes whelp as I could no longer bear the pain. As the betrayal now sets in, it was clear to me.... we weren't actually friends.

This was quite a long time ago in my teen years. Betrayal. Somehow, any injury to the flesh could be fixed but, this one injury would last for many years. It was a stab in the back.

In years to come, I've noticed that I've begun to distant myself from the people around me. I held deep within me a lesson I once learnt from the pain betrayal that was done to me. I never ceased to forgive those who had betrayed me. However, I was certain that I could never allow myself to be hurt again.

My mother had instructed me since I was a boy that forgiveness is key to letting go the grudge within us. I never quite understood it until I saw it with my own eyes. My mother, forgave the one person who would betray her trust the most. She has become the one person that would represent Jesus Christ in this world.

As I grew through the years, experiencing one betrayal after the next and to be abandoned by friends whom I thought would understand me. There was only one person that had never betrayed or abandoned me. He is JESUS CHRIST. I learnt that HE too was betray by His closest friend. A man named Simon whom He intimately called "Peter". Peter wasn't the only person who betrayed. Judas and almost all of Jerussalem betrayed. Abandoned and left Him stranded, hung on a cross.

Illustration of The Betrayal by Michelangelo

I was sure that His heart was bleeding. I am certain that it was heart break that caused His death. But His love was ever so overwhelming. Regardless of the pain and scars He received from such treatment He cried ,"Father, forgive them. For they do not know what they are doing."

There were times I faced such pain from the betrayal of those I considered closest to me. Yet, I knew that unless I forgive them, reach out and love them regardless of the treatment and isolation; I would never be free of it's bondage. Forgiveness has set me free!

Now, I understand that friendships changes. I chose to look at it not as betrayal but rather a change of interest and understanding. What once held friendship together is now just the acquaintance we make out of it. Above all this, it's important that I become the friend to even those who now does not regard it so.

JESUS CHRIST (YESHUA Y'MESSHIAH)
"Greater love has no one than this, that He (Jesus) lay down His life for his friends... I have called you friend."

Patella Bone Fracture

Patella fractures often occur when you fall onto your knee or a receive a blow directly onto the kneecap. A patella fracture can also occur when the quadriceps muscle in the thigh contracts violently or when the lower leg is extended against a fixed resistance (this happened to me).

You’re likely to feel immediate and severe pain and swelling at the site of the fracture. Extending your knee and/or moving it forward and backward may prove difficult. Swelling and tenderness around the kneecap may develop, as well as catching or locking of the knee. The most obvious symptom might be the inability to walk.

If you have a simple break, an x-ray will ascertain if the bone is broken. It is often easier to diagnose a compound patella fracture because the bone is likely to break through the skin. An x-ray will still be necessary to confirm this injury.

Petella Reconstruction

During arthroscopic surgery, an incision is made over the front of the knee joint. The fractured ends of the patella are realigned and held in place with a combination of pins, screws, and wires. In some cases, a portion of the patella can simply be removed, but this is usually done for smaller fracture fragments.

Following a patella fracture, you will need to keep your knee in a straight position to allow for initial healing. Gentle motion can usually begin in the first weeks following surgery, on the complexity of the fracture and the resultant strength of the repair.

One Legged!

I never thought it would end up like this. Yes, I've fractured my right knee. How? Well, its the obvious... BASKETBALL! I'm now on cruthces and with a cast that has isolated my entired right leg. I've never felt so hadicapped in my life. This happened on the 14th February... ironic!

The sense of helplessness is not something I enjoy having. The first day wasn't too bad. I like the attention and the help but after a day of that, I just want my leg back.

Helplessness... I somewhat understand how a disabled person would feel. Its frustrating to not be able to do things yourself. Though its only a leg for me, it has caused me to think quite a bit. I believe this would be a journey to learn from. Learning to accept others assistance and the fact that I can't do it all is a humbling lesson to get out of this. I'm still trying to understand how I can learn from my injury and apply its principles, however, I'm glad its just a fracture and not a permanent injury.

One thoughtthough... am I able to give up basketball and move on to something more productive after this?

Thank you, "Angel" for making my injury enjoyable. I'm glad I have you to help me and instruct me.

And Linus, thanks a bunch for bringing me all around to get my leg checked up. A true friend indeed.

WALKING ALONE

I was reflecting on my life and how I get so caught up with my own feelings. I realized that the more I focused on myself, the more isolated I become. Lately, I've been feeling like I've been "walking alone". This obviously isn't true because I've got so many friends by my side willing to go through the journey with me.

Just a few moments ago I was in my office praying and telling God how I felt. I was feeling sorry for myself. Complaining about the people around me makes me feel like a victim... soaked in my self pity. The more I dwelled into the prayer, the more I felt this "ugliness" surfacing. Am I a "grinch"?


I kept going on in my prayer as I complained to God of this lonely journey and said, "Am I to walk a lonely road? God... I'm walking alone! Is everyone so selfish to not notice me?" But deep inside me, I knew it wasn't the people or the surroundings. It was me... my self-centredness and self-righteousness was surfacing. I had become a "monster", a "grinch". I had been feeding my mind and emotions with such deceitful lies that I was walking alone. That I am carrying this cross and only I know this suffering. How silly is that? It is completely untrue!

My complaining to God was like a snow ball. The more I complained, the more I seemed to be able to gather more of it. Most of my time with people seemed the same. I would complain about my life, and would suggest that others were the ones making the awful mistakes. I never saw the plank in my eye as I was trying to remove the speck in the eyes of those around me.

Now... why am I walking alone again?

It was mostly due to the fact that I was overly self-righteous. I regarded myself better than my peers. I was the one who had distanced myself from those around me and not them.

But I thank the Lord that He is able to show me my failures and help me each day to accept others around me. For those who are walking alone, maybe you need to reevaluate and consider whether you have distanced others from yourself because you are too proud to accept them for who they are.

When Jesus was walking on earth. He did not impose Himself on others, rather He served them. He was meek and considered Himself nothing. He condemned no one accept those who claimed to be righteous. For everyone else, He gave grace that they may understand that there is no longer condemnation for those who are in Him. Since Jesus himself lived among people who are full of shortcomings without imposing Himself upon them, how else should we (I) be treating others like me?


I AM NOT WALKING ALONE!!

INSTINCT

adapted from Our Daily Bread

Flying into a storm is a dangerous experience. The temptaion is to fly by our own instincts, or, as aviators say, "by the seat of your pants." But as any pilot will tell you, that's a prescription for disaster. If you rely on your feelings and instinct, you become disorientated, thinking that the plan is going up when it's actually going down. Thankfully, the instrument panel is set to magnetic north and can be trusted every time. Letting your instruments guide you, even when it feels like they're wrong, helps ensure safety in the storm.

We all face storms that threaten to confuse and disorient us. It may be a call from a doctor's office, friend who has betrayed you, or a chattered dream. Those are the times to be especially careful. When you are blinded by life's disappointments, don't trust your instincts. FLying by the seat of your pants in the storms of life can lead to despair, confusion, and vengeful responses that make matters worse. God wants to guide you, and His Word is packed with wisdom and insights for living. His "Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" (Ps 119:105). Where He leads is always right!

SHARING THE FAITH

This cracks me up... creative!

SECRET BLESSINGS ... Back from Mission

My team and I were on our way back from our mission trip to the Philippines. We had taken my car and drove it back from KK to BSB. The whole journey was to only take us 7 hours maximum. Well, on the way back my car decided to fail on us. I was behind the wheel of my car and suddenly the lights on the dashboards began to flicker randomly and without any further warnings the engine stalled.

The blessing however came soon after. I hadn't been back to visit my grandmother for a long time. To be precise, it was at least 15 years. We are now stranded on the side of the road not sure how we could get help. I called my mother and she began contacting her relatives close to the area and finally after waiting to close to 3 hours, my uncle came from Lawas and took us to my grandmother's. The blessing is the fact that if my car hadn't broken down along the way, I would not have visited my grandmother and cousins. It was a costly break down but that's a story in itself.

I just want to praise the Lord for He has watched over us!

I'm not very good at telling the story here in the blog due to my limitation of creative writing. So, I think I'll just post a picture of my grandmother and family.