"STEPHEN... I CHOOSE YOU!"

Sounds like a Pokemon line! If I remember it... there's a part in the song that says, "Gotta get them all! Gotta get them all!"

I just thought I'd post a rather random thought. Coming into the church ministry from being an engineer was truly a challenge. It was not just a personal challenge but for my family, friends and others very close to me. It had pushed us all to trust God more in faith and understanding that there's no other way to please Him without faith (Hebrews 11:6)

"STEPHEN... I CHOOSE YOU!"

It's as though God had a 'poke-ball' and call me out to do the task. What skill and talent does this little 'pokemon' have?

When God called me into the ministry, it wasn't as though I never felt the prompting before. I knew in my heart since I was around 16-17, that I would serve in the church and minister to the people. I knew that my heart was for Jesus, but I was not ready then. There was some growing up to do. This desire in me was growing slow and steadily within my soul.

Imagine with me for a moment. Let's imagine that you were a... Pokemon. Apparently, like any other creature; you'll need to grow. Feeding, sleeping, playing and more. These are all part and parcel of a Pokemon's life in order to face its challenges. Every Pokemon has its own unique ability. It only needs training and nurturing. Every challenge you meet will increase your skill and intelligent. Now, if God was a Pokemon Master.... what type of Pokemon would you be? How would you serve your Master when He calls you to do your task.

I wonder, if God was a Pokemon Master... He'll silently cry to himself, "Gotta get them all! Gotta get them all!" It would be like God to want the whole world saved and He choose His ultimate Pokemon "JESUS!".

I know this is a rather random and hilarious thought, but think about it. If you were a Pokemon, what kind would you be? Are you willing to be trained and nurtured? Are you willing to try your best and sometimes be defeated, just to be called again for the next challenge? Would you consider God as the "Pokemon Master" a loving and caring person?

What kind of Pokemon would you be?

God is saying this to you even today, ".... I CHOOSE YOU!"

IDENTITY CRISIS

This is rather personal. I was contemplating whether it would be a good idea to post such feelings and experiences, but this is exactly the reason why I started "CROWS AND CROSSROADS" that I may share some of my expriences at these crossroads of life.

Note: Please be patient with my grammar. I will correct it again for better reading. God Bless!

IDENTITY CRISIS

Before my younger brother come into the world, I was the youngest child among my siblings. They were my sisters. I played with them what every child would normally play. We particularly enjoyed role playing such as weddings, house, students and teachers and many more. I enjoyed my childhood thoroughly. Climbing trees,running in the field, swimming... you name it, we have probably done it.

Some time along the way, I began to question my identity. More specifically my sexuality. I've heard the word "gay" many times before. It seemed rather provocative. My friends in school would tell me that if you like someone of the same gender, surely you must be "gay" and there's something wrong with you. This was what I believed. As I grew older, I realised that I had admiration for those of similar gender. I was torn apart. I thought, "Could I be gay?". This struggle with my identity remained with me for several years into my teen years. The more I thought of it, the more I felt convinced that I was somewhat attracted to those of the same gender. I had an identity crisis.

It didn't mean that I didn't have attraction to girls. I do. Very strongly. This made it more confusing. So, one day at a youth camp I prayed for God to help me. I wanted to know what was wrong with me. At that camp, I learnt that attraction and admiration is a normal part of growing up. My admiration for men was not because I had any homosexual tendencies, rather I was admiring them for their personality, characters, qualities and more. They were what I admired and wanted to become. I wanted to become a man.

The reason I had such misconceptions was that society and media often generalize admiration for certain types of sexual attraction. There is nothing wrong to admire a person even if they are of the same gender. A lot of boys admire Michael Jordan. Does it make them "gay"? No! Society and media, instead of correcting our way of thinking, has corrupted it. They tell us that any same gender attraction, or any kind of attraction for that matter, is sexual . We believe in such lies and eventually for some, they succumb to them. Admiration is not bad, it is learning to appreciate the beauty of God's creation.

The identity crisis is probably the one prevalent crisis in our cultures today. Just think about it. Identity is not just about sexuality but intellect, emotions and spirituality too. People go through identity crisis almost daily because we are always in transition: A toddler-child-teen-older teen-early adulthood-mid adulthood-adult-old age. We are always facing identity crisis . We've heard of quarter-life crisis, mid-life crisis and much more.

YOU HAVE AN IDENTITY CRISIS....!

I know Jesus has the answer to your crisis. We can only find our true purpose and identity when we know Jesus Christ in whom all things are created. Give it some thought, are you in a crisis?

Col 1:16-17 (CEV)
"Everything was created by him, everything in heaven and on earth, everything seen and unseen, including all forces and powers, and all rulers and authorities. All things were created by God's Son, and everything was made for him.(17)God's Son was before all else, and by him everything is held together."

LOVE HURTS!

Adapted for Our Daily Bread - Food for the Soul. Special Edition.
Dave Egner

1 John 4:7-16

verse 9&10. "This is how God showed his love amoung us:He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is love: not that we love God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

LOVE HURTS!

"Sometimes love sure hurts!" The mother and father were expressing the difficulties and heartaches of guiding their children through their teen years. "Maybe if we didn't love them quite so much it wouldn't be so hard," the man added.

Even though love brings pain and sorrow what would life be without it? In his book The Four loves, C.S. Lewis wrote:

"To love all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you mustgive your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness... The only place outside heaven you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers ... of love is hell."

To love is to take risks, to expose our hearts. Sometimes it hurts! It hurt Jesus Christ, but He kept on loving - even at the cost of His life. And He asked us to "love one another as I have loved you" (John 1:12)

Truly loving that spouse, that teenager, that neighbour, that colleague is Christlike, and its better than locking your heart in the coffin of self-centredness.

Thinking It Over:

How have you been hurt by those you've tried to love? Have you been tempted to withhold your love from them as well?

Man of the House

I was only 15 back then. My family had been going through very tough times. These were moments I could remember very clearly as it were only yesterday. My father had hardly been home for quite some time. My mother had to raise my 2 elder sisters, my younger brother who was only 5 then and myself. Who could have imagined that those words would forever be etched in my memories.

My father walked in through the door on that fateful day. We had lunch together and it was one of the moments I truly treasured. Since my father was rarely home, these occasions were one that I held dear to my heart. After lunch, he looked at me and said, "Stephen, when I am not in the house you are the man of this house."

I never thought how this would have affected my life until more recent years. I am now 27 and those words continue to resound in my thoughts. How could a 15 year old ever be man? How was I able to know what manhood was? Daddy... could you show me, please?

These were some of my thoughts and cries. I thank the Lord for those moments of deep searching. I have a younger brother whom I truly adore and love. I happened to be talking to a friend of mine a couple of days ago. In the conversation, I realised that I had been very hard on my brother. I never gave it much thought until now. Why was I so hard on him? Why did I keep pushing him? Why? Then it dawned upon me that it was the very word my father had said to me. "... you are the man of this house." I wanted to be the man my father asked me to become when I was 15.

I really wanted to be all I could be to my mother, sisters and brother but I am not. I was unable to fill in the shoes of my father. I tried. I began to feel the responsibility to become a male representation at home. "O Jesus", I cried, "I don't know how to be a man. Who will show me?"

A book I read quite some years ago mentioned the author observing a middle aged man. The man had a very strong manly feature. Intensed and focused. Years of experiences and perseverence have left its marks on his expressions. Then the author said, "this was a mark of manhood". I reflected on these words. What is a man? It may take me a lifetime, but all I know is... I would one day be the man God wants me to be. I thank Jesus for my father. If he hadn't said those words I would not have begun this journey in pursuit of manhood.

My prayer:
"God, be my Father and teach me what I need to be a man after your heart."

Crows and Crossroads

Have you ever felt like you've got so much to do and so many decisions to make? You probably came to a time in your life where you felt like screaming, but no one's listening. It seemed like no one cares. I have! Many times.

Crows and Crossroads is about those moments. Moments I had to make those decisions. Moments of silent prayers and tears. Moments of rejoicing and laughter. These moments are found at those crossroads.

I just pray and hope that the entries here would have some impact on those who reads them. My hope and love is to glorify Jesus. To make him known in the everyday life.

We will all be at the crossroads one day... what are the decisions you will make?